Monday, 6 July 2015

Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 05:44
11 Warning Signs: Are You In A Bad Relationship?

Below are signs that I have gone through or witnessed that I feel are alarm bells for people who don't realise the situation they are in, especially relationships whether it be friends or romantically. If you relate to more than three of them, you need to have a hard think about what's going on in your life.

1. They check your Facebook, texts, e-mail, etc.  
Everyone is entitled to their privacy and keeping texts and messages to you personal is not a thing to feel bad about. You feel guilty if you keep your privacy because you feel showing them everything proves you aren't doing anything behind their back, resulting in you showing how loyal you are. Message checking, particularly if you haven't a reason to be checked up on, is being done by your partner because they are either up to something and want to make sure you're not up to something too or they want to make sure you're not talking to anyone other than them.

2. You worry if you receive a text, call or message (Constant paranoia) 
This is because you know your partner is watching. They make you paranoid about outsiders contacting you. This comes after constant subtle comments about who you are talking to and eventually you relate talking to others with feelings of guilt and stop contacting others altogether.

3. You feel you have lost close relationships with family members and friends
 This happens as a result of not being comfortable to talk to them any more because of the negative comments you receive every time you do talk to someone other than you partner.

4. Everything you plan in your schedule you feel you have to tell/explain 
This happens because of the fear of putting your partner in a bad mood over you doing something that doesn't involve them. In an abusive relationship, the controller won't allow it's victim to do anything without them there based on a lack of trust and fear of their victim becoming free from the relationship because of interactions with other people.

5. They have regular mood swings, mostly bad ones 
Bad days are unpredictable but constant regardless of what you do or say. They get in a bad mood with you for no reason and you do everything to make them feel better.

6. You feel guilty 
You question all your actions, you can't think for yourself and every time they are in a bad mood, you feel it's your fault even if you have done nothing wrong.

7. They question you about everything 
By everything, I mean the things you used to feel comfortable doing with others such as going to the cinema or going out drinking until you got properly involved with your partner. In terms of going out, it gets to the point that they make you feel bad and you don't want to go out any more. They will make this happen by hounding you all night, before, during and after and do their best to make sure it doesn't happen again by making you feel bad for even bothering.

8. They never seem fully happy in the relationship or in your company. 
They appear bored and rarely smile or laugh which makes you mirror these moods also without realising. If you're happier in the relationship than they are, then that's a big give away that this is not a good situation for either of you.

9. They insult you 
There's messing and then there's just being plain mean. When you show what they said hurt you, they laugh at you and brush it off saying they were only joking.

10. You're a last resort. 
They change plans last minute and decide last minute when to see you because they know you will never turn them away. 

11. Any possible competition is met with violence of some sort
By this I mean if your partner feels you are chatting to another potential partner, they flip and take out their anger on that person. This is assuming you're not flirting or encouraging the situation and the potential is only talking with you. Unfortunately, the naive will see this act of violence, such as threats or physical fights as protection and love, but anyone who resorts to violence can't be trusted not to become violent towards you in the end. You also feel if things did finish, that if you went out with someone else, this someone will also be faced with violence.

Think some of these are relative to your situation? Then check out: "Tips On Dealing WIth A Bad Relationship". 



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