Thursday, 31 December 2015

Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 08:31
One Night Stands Don't Lead To True Love

One night stands don't lead to long term relationships. That's just how it is. I mean, how could they?

I'll explain why through a make believe scenario. Here, we have the scene on a night where a one night stand will happen:

From a girl's point of view:

"This guy must really like me! He's buying me drinks, he paid for dinner, he even compliments me all the time! He's so nice, I wouldn't dream of turning down an opportunity to spend more time with him. I wonder is he a good kisser?! Or what he's storing downstairs, hmm! ;)"

From a guy's point of view: 

"She is gorgeous! I can't stop looking at her. The figure. Her smile. She keeps laughing with me and touching my arm. I'm in there! Just don't forget her name, eh, Maria was it? Shit. Pay attention! Look at eyes, not at boobs. Look at eyes  not at boobs! Yeah, I'm doing her tonight."

So we have a girl and a guy flirting at a bar, having great banter and liking each other's company. The drinks are flowing, the vision's a little blurry and both sides begin to think physical contact is better now because verbal communication is going down hill. Slurring isn't sexy, or understandable. But touching, groping and sloppy kissing says so much more!

And the sexy time commences. In the girl's mind, she's thinking how nice it is to be this close to a guy she likes and he's thinking not to come too quickly. She tries to make eye contact to make the moment more magical, but he doesn't look at her face. She thinks nothing of this and the guy soon finishes. Badda-Bing, Badda-Boom! Sleep time!

The next morning:

From a girl's point of view:

I hope he doesn't think I'm a slut. I couldn't resist him though. We had a great connection so I know he'll ring/text me later. My parents would get on with him so well. I can imagine my sister thinking he's so good looking and my brother can talk to him about rugby! Ahh, so happy. Can't wait to see him again! Maybe he'll invite me to the cinema to see that film we talked about last night. Buzzing!"

From a guy's point of view:

"Done and dusted! That was easy. No surprises there. I thought she'd be a bit more of a challenge, but obviously not. Can't believe how willing she was to stay! I thought she'd never leave! Can't imagine dealing with that for 50 years. 50 years having that sex with her forever?! No thank you! I'd rather someone who'd make it a bit more interesting. She probably gives it up to anyone anyways. Number deleted! Hmm, I'm starving..."

I'm aware that the scenarios are very much judging girls to be desperate, clingy and idealistic and the guys to be dickheads wanting to do anything with a pulse. But really peeps, this does happen,and I'm sure a lot of people have been in similar situations where one felt things were going great and the other just wanted one thing and then legged it. Whether you're a guy or girl, this shit goes on. 

Days and weeks pass with no more contact between the guy and girl and the girl feels like shit. She exposed her flaps to someone who doesn't even remember her name let alone want her number, so what was achieved by having sex on the first encounter? Nothing whatsoever!

 Or in another scenario, they meet up again, have sex and part ways in the same old pattern that would result in their relationship" fizzling out altogether. Either way, this situation could NEVER develop into a relationship.

Here's Why:

1. Both have experienced full sex with the other and so have left nothing to the imagination.

2. There's no chasing, flirting or challenge involved.

3. Half the fun is getting to know someone, but if sex happens during the first meeting, after a while, things get boring.

4. Chances are, you have nothing in common other than physical appearance, which is why one or both would rather sex than sitting together in a room chatting, so what would be the point in a relationship where 50% is chatting and communicating?

5. Sex is easy for people to have with strangers because there's no emotional attachment, unless you're totes clingy and really liked their bits and pieces! And so there's no risk of getting hurt with the added pleasure of getting some, it's a win win!

6. Realistically, I believe if someone doesn't have to work hard at all to get you into bed, they will subconsciously see you as an easy hunt and someone not worth the effort. Why? Because you gave them your all in one go and there's nothing left to look forward to.

I've seen a lot of people in a "relationship" who just have sex, don't put much effort into relationship aspects such as dates, getting to know family and friends, and basically live in a little bubble without mixing the other person into any other parts of their life other than in the bedroom. Because of this, the pattern of regularly getting hurt is obvious. This is because one person goes off with someone else, the reason being that person doesn't want a relationship with the other and/or knows the other will take them back regardless, so it doesn't actually matter if they cheat on them or not. 

So in this sense, yes relationships can form from one night stands (aka sex with a stranger during first day/night of meeting) and starting off with sex before getting to know the person, but the chances are they will end up being in a relationship where break ups are frequent, cheating is regular and at least one person is always getting hurt who is subsequently the one who goes back. All because of the first impression of giving yourself away so quickly. And it won't last either.

A one night stand is called a one night stand for a reason. It should only be ONE night. 

After that, leave them be and find someone who is worth knowing you as a person as well as a lover. Trust me, it's worth it over one moment of jizzing with a stranger! Or better yet, keep them guessing and do it AFTER you get to know them ;)

Keep it in your pants guys, even for a little while. You know it makes sense and you'll be glad you did in the end!

:) <3

What do you guys think? Can sex turn into a relationship? I'd love to hear your side of things!



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