Friday, 3 July 2015

Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 14:41
Part 1/2: How To Prepare For A First Date

Even writing 'First Date' as part of the heading made me cringe with embarrassment because times like these can be so embarrassing, cringy and VERY stressful!

I've had my fair share of first dates, a few from online dating which you can read more about in detail here! 

So I know the feeling of it but I also have great understanding and patience on how to deal with it without screaming in frustration when your hair just won't stay in place.
The main thing to be reassured about is that fact that you have a date! You should be super excited! Someone wants to spend quality time getting to know you and hopefully date you so they can do you on a regular basis and call it a relationship. Sounds great eh? :D



The problem with so much excitement is that it can turn into stress when various materialistic factors are added to it, such as: 

Outfit
Shoes
Hair
Make-Up
Shaving/Waxing - Where and how much, etc.
Deodrant/Perfume
Topics of conversation
How to greet the person
What to do when ending the date 



I plan to help you with all of the above. We'll take things one at a time, and remember to breeeeathe! 

The Preparation:

Timing: This is a vital step because you need to manage your time correctly. If you're meant to be at the meeting spot for 8pm, don't get ready at 7pm, realistically as a girl that's not long enough. Not because girls take forever (maybe, maybe not!) but because you don't want to be rushing out the door to make sure you're on time. You want to give yourself about 10-15 minutes extra time so you know if traffic is held up or the bus is late, you will still get there on time. 

One thing I don't agree on is how a girl should casually show up late to make the guy wait for you and panic a little and/or vice versa. I have heard people say they intend to be late for this very reason, as a way to not come across as too eager and it's very disrespectful. Don't start a potential relationship/friendship with mind games, because then you're clearly not ready to even be dating.



I take forever to get ready, just ask my Darrykins! So when I was going on a first date that was for 8pm, I'd actually begin getting ready at 4pm. This is because I wanted to have a nice shower, focus on myself and take my time doing my hair and make up. My shower alone could take an hour because of grooming but we'll come to that in a minute!

Hair



For me, my hair ALWAYS lets me down. It's either too flat or too fussy, not full enough or just annoying. Which is why I need the extra time to cater for if my hair starts being a nuisance. And so should you. This will save on a lot of stress and you will end up styling your hair as if you were going to work or college. Ever notice when you don't put much effort into your hair sometimes it comes out better than when you do? I know I find that to be true! 


I'm not a beauty blogger so I can't give you hairstyling tips, but from my own experience, do a hairstyle you know you can do. Don't drown yourself in hair products because the combination can make it look greasy. Something simple like letting your hair dry naturally curly, or straightening the ends of your blow-dried hair so you don't lose volume in your roots. You want to show off yourself in a natural way which will give you extra beauty points in the eyes of your date for not being plastic! 

Too much styling and up-keep for your hair on the date could make you paranoid and self-conscious as a result of fussing, so don't do it to yourself and make it simple!

Clothes



Whether you're going dancing, meeting for a drink or having dinner, you have to dress for the occasion. For example, a cinema date would be more casual than a posh dinner and wine kind of date. The main thing is you feel smexi in your clothes, you don't over expose your assets such as boobs, arse and legs (You have to leave something to the imagination!) and you wear something that you won't be constantly fidgeting at (lace/beads/zips,etc.)

The main thing here is not showing off too much at once. 
The rule of thumb is if you're showing some cleavage, don't wear something that emphasises your arse or legs, or if you're wearing a skirt to show of your legs, wear a high neckline top to cover your cleavage, etc. This is because if you expose more than one asset at a time, there'll be too much being exposed that you spend your time adjusting your top up as well as keeping your skirt down. Too much stress that isn't worth it!

Shoes



The shoes are the hardest part because not only do they have to suit the situation (like the clothes) but they also have to match your outfit, so shoes can be a stress zone. My best advice is if for a casual date (cinema) and you're wearing jeggings, wear boots with a sturdy heel. I say sturdy because you want to be able to walk comfortably in them without having your date slowing down to stay at the same pace as you or wondering why you're walking like a pegged-legged chicken. Same with a dress or skirt for drinks/dinner date. High heels, if you can, avoid them, unless you can walk in them without a second's thought. I personally hate high heels because I don't wear them a lot and have to concentrate REALLY hard so I don't fall over. Could you imagine! it, awkward! I personally stick to boots regardless. Again, it's a personal choice, but you have to think comfortable and walking ability when making your decision.

WARNING:
My advice is don't use a first date as a way of breaking in new shoes that require some wear before they are walkable in. Your feet will get sore and you won't enjoy your date because you'll be too busy daydreaming about wearing fuzzy socks and pjs!

Make-Up



PLEASE do not slap on the foundation, scrap on the eye shadow, eat a stick of lipstick and lather on mascara. You don't need it! Your date asked you out because they like you, and covering up your beauty with fish scales and whale vomit (not joking about either, these are in make-up products, particularly whale vomit aka ambergris which is used to make the scent last longer!) would be such a waste. Plus, if you're stressing and sweating, you could have your make up smudge and that's not pretty to look at. Simple is best! Some foundation, a bit of mascara and maybe some eye liner. But that's all you need. Let the rest of your beauty shine out and bedazzle in date throughout the night! It's similar to picking clothes, only emphasise one area, eyes or lips but not both at once, it's too much and you could end up looking like a clown.

Shaving/Waxing 



This is a topic so many of us girls and women stress about. Where will I shave, how much will I shave, will waxing be better, etc. Another stress zone. The best advice here, because everyone is different, is stick to your typical going out grooming routine (drinking, dancing, whatever!). Don't shave/wax areas you never normally do, for example:

If you shave your downstairs region very rarely you should follow these tips:

Don't shave 2 hours or less before date time. Your skin will be red and irritated and could become uncomfortable, especially if stress is making you sweat! Try and get it done that morning/night before, or atleast 4 hours beforehand. This will give your skin a chance to soak in the moisturiser, heal and tone down it's redness. Plus you'll be able to walk without worrying over your bits feeling like they're on fire. But never get rid of hair down there just because you're going on a date. If you expect a one night stand, that's fair enough, but otherwise, if it's not what you would usually do then don't change it for someone else's likes and dislikes.

And whatever you do DO NOT WAX YOUR ARMPITS! If its part of your routine, grand, do it in enough time, but if you're feeling like you need to work on that area  for the date, do it the day before. If you do it 2/3 hours beforehand, you'll probably meet your date like this:



Same goes for legs. Don't wax unless you're used to it. 

Shaving/waxing 3 or 4 hours would be the worst time to try out a new grooming technique on yourself. If they dump you because you have hairy legs during the date, then fuck them! They don't realise how cold it can be without a bit of leg fuzz to keep you warm in the cold nights! ;)


Deodorants/Perfume



A first date can cause stress which means sweating could be a possibility, so plan ahead and get a deodorant you know will keep you from leaking from every single crease. Try and get one that won't leave white marks because you could run the risk of not noticing white marks until you realise your date is looking at your top and not your boobs. (most likely both, but still, no white marks!). Perfume (made from whale vomit as I mentioned in make-up, wooo!) has the tendency to make people use half a bottle on themselves when getting ready. Don't do that! The reason you can't smell it after a while is because you're used to it, but new people in your company aren't, and the last thing you want to happen is your date sitting at the other side of the room because they have an asthma attack in your presence. 

Use a little and top up throughout the night if you want to. A little added over time will keep the smell subtle but noticeable. Spray it in the air and walk through it, like this: PICTURE ***********************************

LINK TO HOW TO SURVIVIE FIRST DATE HERE

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