The Types Of Weirdos I Met While Travelling To London!
Me and my Darry celebrated our 2 year anniversary by heading to London last Saturday and we did a hell of a lot of travelling! It doesn't sound like much between Ireland and the UK, but when our hotel was nearer to Heathrow and we spent a lot of time on the tube, as well as travelling to Dublin from Kilkenny, needless to say I saw a heck of a lot of weirdos! ...Except the 6ft something weirdo I was with called Darry warry ;)
The top 6 weirdos observed were as followed:
The One Pretending To Be On The Phone
This guy was a head wreck on the bus heading to Dublin. He sat infront of me and the first half an hour I didn't pay much attention to him. Then his various "phone calls" got more frequent and his voice seemed louder. SO me being me, I earwigged. What I discovered was hilarious. I REALLY don't believe he was on the phone at all!
I am full sure of this because his "conversations" involved him talking and then mid sentence he would stop. For no reason. And maybe 10 minutes later, he'd just start talking again. Yes, you may be saying his phone got disconnected and he was waiting for the person to ring back. But nope. There was nothing. No putting the phone down, no noise coming from the phone, and he talked so loud and kept saying the same things over and over again that I became convinced he was just talking to himself!
I have a lot of experience about spotting people who are pretending to be on the phone when I was working as a street fundraiser for Concern Worldwide, and this guy was just ridiculous! I was so delighted when I saw the airport because it meant I didn't have to hear him constantly saying "Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeeeeeah. WHERE YOU?! I'm 15 minutes from the bus stop. I'm 20 minutes from the bus stop. I'm at the bus stop." STFU!
The One Who Randomly Started Singing 'Hallelujah'
Overly-Catholic/Christian people freak the shit out of me. These God-preachers who practically force their patronising believes on you because they feel they have the right to do so drive me insane. I'm Catholic, so I can give out about them if I want, particularly because I don't believe in the Catholic religious way, but that's another story!
Anyways, typically while I had dope #1 sitting infront pretending to talk to people while actually talking to himself, I had directly behind me a man in his early 60s who randomly began playing a very churchy version of Hallelujah from what I think was Youtube considering the applause at the end. I didn't understand this because we were only 10 minutes away from our stop and this guy hadn't made a peep all the 2 and a half hour journey. Until this creepy music played (I like the song, but this version was soooo strange!) and I began to believe it was the radio on Classic FM.
I thought nothing of it until out of nowhere a deep voice from behind sings at the top of his voice "HAAAALLELUUUUJAAAAAAH!"
What the fuck?! And he didn't stop there. It was constant. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. You're a fucking Loo-yah! It makes me so uncomfortable when people who can't sing begin to sing at random. Fair enough a little hum now and again, but full force, in the middle of the bus. What did he expect, Simon Cowell to turn up and say he's through to the next round?! Get knotted!
Sing in your bathroom and leave it at that. Unless you can sing, but still, sing away from me. If I wanted to listen to someone sing, I'd play my own music by choice. Buses are not for singers, Buses are for sleeping! Zzzzzz....
The Sour Faced Air Hostess
I get pretty scared when taking off in a plane, and so coming back from London wasn't any different. And this woman with a face like a slapped arse didn't help me in any way! She had a sulky face while going through the motions of the safety procedure, and my paranoia kicked in thinking
"Maybe the plane is going to go down and she knows it. That's why she's not happy. She knows we're going to die. FUCK!"
This is the stuff that goes on in my head during take off. Any sign of something off and my mind goes 90mph!
So back to this air hostess, either she was hungover or #HatingLife because she stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the other beaming air hostesses. She clearly wasn't having a fab dot com day and because of that she inadvertedly made me believe I was going to die. Great bants!
The Old Granny Who Was On Drugs
I don't know whether this woman was a granny or on drugs, but from my observation she could definitely have been both! She looked about 65+ and she waited at our bus stop. The bus driver had only sat on the bus and was doing paper work so we all waited for him to open the door. She stood directly outside the door staring in at him to the point where he had to brush her away, telling her to wait 5 minutes.
She had this zombie/glazed look on her face and she just wandered away from the door. I didn't think much of it until Darren pointed her out again when we were on the bus waiting to go. She stood in the middle of the road. She stood at the airport door alone. She left her luggage at the door in the middle of the doorway while she walked away from it. And all the while her mouth was wide open as if she was trying to eat all the air and it's insects along the way.
This woman was completely out of it! I don't know what she did at the end when our bus left, but because of the way she left her baggage unattended, I wouldn't be surprised if they blew up her bag as a precaution! That'd be totes awks anyways. I thought she could have been at the dentist because of the way her mouth was hanging out and she was still dopey from the stuff they gave her, but Darren reckons she was drunk. Either way, she seemed very cray-cray!
The Guy With The Petrol Can On The Underground Tube
This guy's weird behaviour scared me so much that I told Darren I had to get off at the next stop. We were in London and it took 45minutes of a tube journey to get from our hotel to London central. This guy got on not long after us and seemed normal enough. He sat down directly in front of me and had one bag with him. After two stops he stood up and grabbed another bag that was by the door with a petrol can in it. He said sorry to the old woman sitting near us for some reason and sat back down.
His eyes were wired and very jittery but I only began to feel uneasy when he picked up his bags, put them back over to the door and sat at the opposite end of the carriage and sat back down. The train was half empty so swapping seats made no sense at all. He kept looking back over at us which involved a German family of 2 daughters and a mother, a black guy, an old woman and me and Darry. Then he got back up, moved his bags again and sat back down again.
The old woman said to the German family about how that guy with the bags was acting "very odd" and then I started worrying. You hear so many stories and it would make you nervous when you're in similar situations! Then the petrol smell got very strong and a woman who had just got on darted her head all around the place and covered her nose. She looked more freaked out than I did!
Her looking worried was the final straw. I had to get off and even though the guy with the petrol was getting off at the same time, I didn't care. I wasn't sitting on a tube train that was underground and smelling like petrol. Not. A .Chance! Was I being paranoid? Maybe. Am I still alive as a result? Yerh! Better to be safe than sorry, especially with how unpredictable the world is today.
The Cruella DeVille Impressionist
This woman was also on the tube. She got on wearing all back including a very fluffy shoulder wrap thingy (I'm not into fashion so don't know what is was called, a shawl maybe??). When she sat down, the shawl thing made her shoulders look massive and her head very small.
Cruella DeVille the cartoon version is drawn to have kind of hunched shoulders and so this is what she looked like as a result. Her blonde hair and pouted face made her look mean and I could just imagine her driving through town yelling "Where are those damned dogs?!" as she hunted for white to match in with all of her black. You never know!
So these were the creepy and one some level, scary people I observed while on my travels to London. People can take you by surprise, and I really shouldn't have judged by looking, but we all do it and it made for an easy read for you all! Plus I'm clearly very paranoid of people ;)
Have you guys ever encountered someone strange or just plain weird on any travels you took? Comment below! :) <3