Monday, 6 July 2015

Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 05:42
Tips On Dealing With A Bad Relationship



1. Talk
Be honest about everything. Talk about how you want to see your friends and family more and go back to being the old, happier you. If they say they're not stopping you, explain that they are by the way they react when you do something different like see friends or do something yourself aka bad moods or nasty comments. Talking is the hardest but most necessary step, but in a controlling relationship, sometimes it can fall back on you and make you feel you caused a fight. Don't fret if talking doesn't work because there's plenty more options.

2. Equalise your time between your partner, your friends and family and you time
Divide your week with set times when you can say you'll see your partner on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and you can work on yourself Tuesday and Thursday. Make sure you plan a day with either your friends or family at least once a week and make it consistent. You want your family to feel like you're coming back to the old you, but you also want to show your partner that your life doesn't just involve them. They can see their friends and family and have their own time without you breathing down their neck, so stick to your guns and do the same. With their reaction, if they make you feel bad about what you're doing instead of encouraging you, this is clearly someone who doesn't want the best for you.

3. Regain your privacy
 Change your passwords, put a lock on your phone and don't fret if they ask you about it. You are COMPLETELY entitled to your privacy and they have no right to make you feel bad for having that. They will get mad and upset, not because they think you are up to something, but it's because that's one thing they don't have control over anymore.

4. Don't change your schedule just because they want you to
They will flirt, make you laugh, get upset or throw a strop to make you change your plans to suit them. Maybe you had organised a night in for just yourself and they want to join you even though you had told them already you want a night to yourself. If they loved you they would respect your decision, but if they force you in various ways to change your plans, don't. Hold your ground. You'll know if you're being a doormat if you find you're not sticking to the schedule you previously planned and they're there based on when they want to be.

5. If they repeatedly do the same actions which upset you, don't give them the opportunity to do it again.
By this, I mean if they hit or cheat, abuse or neglect you constantly, it's only going to stay in that routine because they know you'll let them. You will have very little belief in yourself and in your life if you allow people like this to use you like a puppet and the only way to break the habit is to give them a chance to change the habit. Most likely they will for a little while, but once they know you're committed again, they'll just go out and do it all over.



The thing is, in an abusive relationship, there is nothing worse than feeling like you have no other option but to put up with everything because you feel you have to and because you're used to it. You don't have to. Our journey is planned to give us obstacles we are able to handle, but if you keep yourself redoing the same mistake and not continuing on, you're part of the problem. And who knows what you're missing out on in the rest of your journey if you're stuck in the same spot. 

People control others because of their own issues and problems, but it's not our job to fix everyone. We can only fix those who want to be fixed. 

The rest just want to bring everyone else down with them. Don't let them get to you too. 

<3



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