We Period For Humanity! #VaginaPower
I'm so fed up of period fear and anxiety, which I will call PFA. Never heard of it? Me either, because I made it up. But it is something that happens, to probably most girls during their time of month or blob as I will colourfully call it. Graphic!
Our parents never tell us how bad it is or what to expect. All I remember being told when I was 9 (yeeeep!) that if I see my underwear change colour I was to tell mammy. Poop colour didn't count. Obvs.
I have to deal with these two thoughts every single month:
1. Getting The Blob
"Ugh, my blob is today which means pain, feeling fat and not arsed doing anything. And NO ONE dare talk to me or I'll eat the head off them. I just want to eat all day even though I never feel full. Hate my life. Where's my fluffy socks?"
2. Not Getting The Blob
"Ehhhhh..... Why hasn't my blob come? AM I PREGNANT?! I knew it. I haven't even had sex, well, in the last day but still! It hasn't come so what else is it?! Fuck, I can't have a kid now, I wanted to get skinny and sexy first, make some money and move out of my parents house before a yoke like that comes out of me. SHIIIIIIIT!"
Along with these which I found online:
And I know for a fact that most months I have the mjaority of these thoughts EVERY month. Bar the sex change one. Bit drastic!
And it's stupid because I know when it's due, but I still think it's late when it's not hence the pregnancy freak out most months. Then when I get it, I don't want it because it's fucking shit!
I can't win! Men don't have to put up with anything of this other than the 'Man Flu'. Poor babies.
YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN GUYS!
I hate blobbing.
I keep hearing about men being given some sort of birth control pill so the pressure isn't completely on the woman, but c'mon, we know that'd cause a serious baby boom! Why? Because if I was a guy just chancing his arm on a weekend drinking session, as Irish comedian Tommy Tiernan says:
"I'd take ten of them on a Friday and hope for the best!"
So for the sake of humanity, girls, we'll continue to suffer, create life and keep all of mankind alive with penises as our assistants! This is what #VaginaPower is!
#VaginaPower will represent all the support given to those suffering from the monthly blob and as a reminder that we girls run this shit!
FOR HUMANITY, WE BLOB!
Hope you lot have a nice time of month full of rainbows and chocolate!
See you next time :)