Monday, 6 July 2015

Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 06:08
Forget Everyone Else! :)


There's competition in every aspect of life, particularly in ways such as how we're perceived by others. Who has the best clothes, the best selfie, the best car, the best education, the best job, the best wage. Who cares? The sad thing is people always want to see others fail, and picking away at other people's flaws and lack of some sort of material wealth is always an easy option.


I always remember when I worked for Concern Worldwide and a speaker came in to us about the 1000 days campaign we were doing. I loved how, at one stage, she pointed out how her experiences in various countries in Africa reminded her so much of the people here. And by that, she meant that the women do exactly what women here do. Bitch.

They bitched about husbands, they bitched about friends and discussed other people's ongoing situations. They had their girlie chats and obviously they had cliques. So this shows worldwide, regardless of how much or how little we have, we as humans have a tendency to always gawk at the greener grass, and if one shred appears greener than our own, we do nothing but pick at it through bitching and gossip to make our greenery seem better to us and others.

The question is, who are we trying to impress? 

Think about it! Does it matter if someone is skinnier than us, has more friends than us, has a boyfriend/girlfriend, a higher qualification or job? Not in the slightest! 

The person we should always try and surprise and impress is ourself, because they're the one person we have a life long relationship with!


And do you know why?!

Because even though someone is skinnier, appears to have a great relationship, great friends, a car, an education and/or a job doesn't actually mean anything. They could be in their relationship because they're too afraid to leave the comfort of being with someone, they could feel intimidated and lack a real bond with friends who all probably talk more about each other than to each other, they could have a great qualification but no job or they could have a great job but live a million miles from where they want to be.


Competition happens when others are unhappy with their situation and envy the situations of others. But we never truly know what's going on in another person's life or how they feel about it. It could look good from the outside, but actually stepping into someone else's shoes is a whole different experience. We should all be delighted that each day we are given the opportunity to open our eyes and see the day ahead of us, a chance to do something, start something or progress with something that could lead to bigger and better things for us. 

True happiness, I feel, is not knowing what everyone else is at 24/7. And do you know why I'd rather not know? Because it gives me more time to focus on my own life rather than focus on what's going on in yours.

Ignorance is bliss, and bliss is peace. Peace can only be achieved if we look towards ourselves, be selfish about our happiness and basically say...

FUCK everyone else!! :)


Keep on loving life peeps <3


Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 05:55
My Cringy Experience With A "Christian Grey" Type



(WARNING: Contains adult humour-typed content!) 

A few of my friends know this story but I've never talked about it here. Until now! Overall, I think back to this moment as a funny moment to talk about with friends when drunk, but at the time, it was just so fucked up! Let me explain.

I would have been just 17 and going through my first 'break-up', if you call 2 months a relationship, I wouldn't, but still. That's where my head was at. My 'Christian Grey' is not what you're thinking and our so-called 'Red Room Moment' was completely cringy, embarrassing and used for social entertainment and humour for others these days.

I was friends with the outcast group of school because I found their conversations a little more relaxed than the social clique. Because there's only so much "Oh, I love your hair!" *bitches about hair 2 minutes later* I could listen to.

Anyways, this guy was not in any way good looking, shorter than me but I liked him because I thought he was funny in some ways. Honestly, I don't remember what happened but we ended up going on a cinema date once which was awkward and uncomfortable. Again, I was 17, socially awkward in general with zero experience with guys. I had the virgin vibes going on! :)


The next time was when I was invited over to his house and I didn't think much of it. We only kissed once and it was shit, but it got me out of the house so why not!

When my mam dropped me up I was so nervous because I didn't know where I was, how long I'd be there and I began to instantly regret ever going. Woo clever me not listening to instincts yet again!

He answered the door and I felt so quiet and shy as I followed him to his room. The house was dark because of everything being made out of wood (no pun intended) so the vibes were just bad overall.

I sat on the bed and he began telling me OUT OF NOWHERE about how he writes erotic novels. Well that's a great conversation starter! 17 year old me could only voice the words "Okay?.." as he continued and said "I'm gonna read you something I wrote. For you." To which my inner reaction was:

It makes my toes curl just thinking about him when he read out weird shit and kissing various body parts and other body parts doing different movements. Eww. Eww. Eww. I personally think I blocked out what was read except for one moment where he acted a scene out. He read how he wanted to nibble my ear and then proceeded to do so.

Now, this can sound nice when you're with someone you:
1. Like
2. Are Attracted To
3. Don't Feel Queasy When Suggesting Such Things

So when he said that, my face was like a deer in headlights. My frozen body sat when he slobbered and spat all over my ear for what seemed like a year. Only realistically 3 seconds later I quickly shoved him off and stood up. My great response being "Em, let's not do that..." as I wipe my forever scarred ear into my shoulder followed by a disgusted face look.

He didn't seem phased at all and decided
"Hey, let me show you my box."


I wish I had of said something along the lines of the above. But nope. Quiet Doey just nodded and watched this guy root through his wardrobe and pulled out a wooden box (too much wood for my liking at this stage!!). He put it on the bed and stood beside me. He said "I keep these here so my parents don't find them." 

Visions of chopped up body parts or some sort of shrine to me flooded my brain. He opened it and proudly showed me his nipple clamps, hand cuffs and feather. He then abruptly asked could he try them on me. Because clearly I was so interested in him and his clamps...


Typically, without any tact, I laughed and said "Flip off!". (I didn't curse at this stage in my life, boy have I changed now!) So he has the great idea of showing me what the nipple clamps look like on his own nipples and I couldn't have felt more sick and creeped out. All I could think was how the clamps looked like little metal crocodiles. Why? BECAUSE I WAS ONLY A CHILD!! Ugh..

But it gets even weirder!

This Christian Grey type pointed at his radiator and said "See that radiator?" I wanted to say no just so he wouldn't continue but I just stared instead at the wall. He proceeded to tell me about his love of hand cuffing himself, wanking with the nipple clamps on and finishing off all over himself for pleasure. Yeah sounds like serious bants there!


Seriously people!! Imagine your teen self in this situation waiting on your mammy to collect you because you don't like the way this strange guy plays policeman with weird body pinching crocodile shaped yokes. 


Needless to say, when his mam came into the room just as he finished his chaaaaaarming conversation, he decided we better "mosey on up" to the sitting room. Direct quote. Didn't sound cool then. Doesn't sound cool now.

So we ended the ROMANTIC date (haw!) by sitting in separate chairs watching Two And A Half Men with me constantly looking out the window looking obviously uncomfortable. I know this because he kept asking me was I okay.

NO I AM NOT OKAY YOU JUST TOLD ME SOME REALLY WEIRD SHIT AND NOW WE'RE WATCHING TWO AND A HALF MEN! I HATE TWO AND A HALF MEN!


Mam drove up and I can honestly say I ran out the door. He opened it and whoosh! I was gone, never to look back. He was in the year above me so I barely saw him in school and when I did, I meanly avoided all eye contact. But c'mon, how can you look a person in the eye after 2 'dates' where one date included a fun game of Make Doey Feel As Awkwardly Uncomfortable As Possible!

I think 50 Shades Of Grey has an interesting story that is just that. A story. And I feel if that were to happen in real life to anybody, it would pretty much be a varied version of what I went through. No stranger can make you feel comfortable enough to clamp your nipples, spit in your ear and read porn to you. It's just not romantic or sexy.

Fair enough people are into that and that's cool for them, but this kind of stuff, in my experience is NOT second date material!

My advice? Simple: 

Get to know someone, don't spit in their ear and avoid showing them your box on your second meeting.

Until my next eventful life (over)share! 
Toodles! :) <3



Posted by Ordinarily Quirky On 05:46
What I've Learned In 2014

There's a lot of change that has occurred for me in 2014 and lessons well and truly learned that I'm delighted to have in my back pocket. These are my 3 main life lessons of 2014 that I hope can benefit you guys for 2015:

1. People Actually Don't Change, But Our Perception Of Them Does (It's Not You, It's Them!):


As time goes on, people walk in and out of our lives. Some stay longer than others, but what if they don't walk with us to the New Year? What happened? Well the reason for this is that most likely you began to understand and learn more about the person in a way you didn't like, or vice versa. We could know people for years and be blinded by the bond we have with them that we don't realise we're in a toxic relationship or friendship. The good thing about this is that you learn from their loss in your life that no matter what, it's not you, it's them! 

 

I say this because in 2014 when I think back, I've either lost contact with someone I thought would always be around, fought with them or basically got fed up of their bullshit and deliberately don't talk to them anymore because I'm tired of it. And at the time when it happened, I did think 'Shit, I'm after wrecking this up for good." But then I remembered my reasons for not being happy in that bond and now I find it a relief to know that anyone I leave behind in the New Year are behind me for a reason.


No one, regardless of how they appear to be, eventually, you will see if they are benefiting your life, because if not, what's the point? Be selfish in your journey because it's exactly that, YOUR journey! Think of it as a path and a line of people along that path. You choose if they come with you or not, because if they do, their life becomes apart of yours and what they bring, whether it's their own drama or baggage, you in turn have to lug it around with you too. So be smart in choosing what other luggage you bring that isn't yours because it can weigh you down. But never feel you have to stay with people just because you always have done. New Years' is a time for change, and it might seem hard at first, but it's happening for a reason, and change is always for the best, especially when it comes to who you pick to be in your life.

2. Yoga Twice A Week And 2 Litres Of Water A Day Will Help You Lose Weight (I Swear!):

Water:
It's not a secret to say I've always been conscious of my weight, a lot of us are. Name any diet or trend and I've tried it. From doing the Warrior's Diet (eat one massive meal a day and that's it), to starving yourself (and end up binging later on and feel super shit and fat!) to just eating better and exercising more. But to be honest, at some point even that is hard to keep up. Look, I'm a chocoholic and I can't go to rehab for it so I choose to live and love it! But yes it makes you very, very fat.




I should really take my advice from the previous point and see chocolate as a toxic friend I should get rid of, but hey, I love our time together to much to make that happen! ;)

So back to the water thing. This year on December 15th, I decided fuck this shit, I hate my belly and I want rid of it! So again, I did my usual scrolling through the internet to find out a seriously simple way to lose weight without having to do anything really! And I've always seen how much emphasis water is given when it comes to weight loss but because I never really liked drinking water, I normally brush passed it. 



Yet, for some reason, I took notice of it this time and got myself a large 2litre bottle of River Rock and emptied it (because it tastes like shit!) and refilled it with my own tap water (it's filtered 'cos we live up the mountain so it's reeeeal nice!). I then left it in the fridge to make it extra cold and for about a week I stayed consistant with eating what I wanted and making sure, no matter what, that the bottle was empty by the time I went to sleep.
I drank a little before dinner and some more during and after, but other than that, I just drank it to get rid of it and make myself feel better when it was gone. Then I got to the stage where I was REFILLING THE 2 LITRE BOTTLE! This showed a serious change because at the start I struggled big time to finish it the first time round, like doing this:

 

But when I got into drinking the full 2 litres properly, what were the results? I'm still chubby, BUT my stomach has flattened so much more, it's actually a little scary. I don't fully understand the science of it but basically the main point of it is:

- Water will help you digest your food better, making your body less cloggy (and fat! Can't forget fat!).

- It gets rid of everything shit in your body through waste which will make you pee a lot of the time but it's worth it if you think all those toxins are definitely better out than in.

- It really will make you eat less food over time. It makes you feel fuller (give it until your 4th day of drinking) and you'll notice those big meals you could eat without breathing between bites become harder than you ever would of thought. You even begin leaving more food and not wanting as much sugary sweets and junk!

So I know it's a common saying to always drink water. But because I've actually tried it, and now I swear by it, just fill a 2 litre bottle of water, incorporate it into your life, and I can guarantee by next New Years' you won't be making the false promise of losing weight because the water will be doing it for you! 

Yoga:
The reason I added in the yoga aspect is because personally I love it. All I did was copy some yoga poses from the internet onto my phone that I know I can do (not wrapping myself into a pretzel anytime soon!) and I do them when I feel I want to. After only 25 minutes of doing some yoga stretches, I would always feel a little more toned than before I started.


 It sounds like magic, and maybe yoga is, but I can't stress enough how simple it is. Just do what I do and tell your Dad not to come into your room for at least 30 minutes because you're transforming yourself into a supermodel. If your dad is anything like mine, that piece of information would go in one ear and out the other, 'cos he's used to me at this stage and my random concepts!

The yoga poses I do are random ones I found online and you can do these simply at home as much as you want, but along with the 2 litres of water, I'd recommend doing some yoga twice a week so you don't force yourself into doing it and it doesn't feel like exercise when you do get around to doing it. I do each stretch for 30 seconds and release and then stretch again for 12 reps, but again, stick to what you're comfortable doing.

 Do each pose for as long as you want. I recommend doing it until you do feel a slight twinge or burn in your muscles because it makes the stretch is working. No pain no gain! 

3. If You're On The Dole, Go Do A Course. If You Don't Like Your Job, Quit! (I Did Both And It Changed My Life Forever!):

Dole:
I hate the dole system. When I was sitting at home doing nothing, my motivation for job searching plummeted because I was fed up of being turned down, mainly for lack of experience in the jobs I was applying for. I felt I had nowhere to turn and that my life would forever involve a weekly trip to the post office collecting 100 euro. It also made me one grumpy ass bitch because I was so bored and fed up.


 I swear, life is so shit on the dole and the one aspect I hated most about it was how it made me feel like there was no way out. It's a vicious circle that appears to help you, but then when you get up to try and do something, the dole can pull you back in various ways.

Luckily, I decided this time last year to apply for a course and it was the best decision I ever made. For the first time in my life, I actually feel like I'm working towards not just a job, but a career. I've only been doing it since September, but realistically, I'll be finished majority of the whole course by the end of March, and for the sake of getting up and doing something, whether it's costly or not will be so worth it by the end because once I'm qualified, I'm now more open to job offers in the Education and Childcare sector, which is great.

January is the perfect time to look through courses online and find out what is in your area that suits you. Whether it's part-time, full-time, evening courses or weekend courses, it doesn't matter. If it's only for 12 weeks, still go for it! It keeps you busy, you feel like you've accomplished something, but best of all, you realise you're capable of much more than just collecting money every week from the post office.


Any course can give you back your sense of independence, and if you're unsure of what to do, start off with a one year course (that really only lasts from September until April as well as 6 weeks holidays inn between) because then if you don't like it, you still have that area as an option and you can try a different course next time without being contracted into staying with that course for another 3 years.

The dole is a helpful system, but once you're on it, it's so easy to stay reliant on it, and before you know, you're 35, still collecting money and thinking this is shit, I wish I did something with life.

I know as well as anyone else that it has it's problems. But the great thing is, the Social Welfare do give plenty of grants and money schemes to people seeking to start a course. Once they know you'll stick at it and that it's what you want to do, they'll help you on your way. I'm currently on a social welfare money scheme for my course and without it, I wouldn't be able to afford going. But because of that extra bit of financial help, I'm happier in myself, I'm doing something to benefit my future and I'm not wasting away my youth watching television and sitting on my arse feeling sorry for myself.


So if you think the dole life isn't what you want to stay at forever, I definitely would advise you get looking for some sort of course that you feel you will enjoy. Because at the end of the day, it's up to you how you spend your time, it's no one else's job to hand things to you for nothing.

Job:
When I was working and living in Dublin, I can honestly say I hated my job. I hated most of the people I worked with and the environment was completely toxic. It turned me into a miserable person and one day, I had the courage to put in my notice and quit. I was so scared and nervous because at the time I was the only one in my family who was working and I felt a lot of people depended on me for financial support. I didn't want to let anyone down. And you can feel like that when you're in a job for so long. 
But the best feeling was when I had my leaving session with all the work people I loved and to be able to come home and say I quit was amazing.

I turned my back on 13 euros an hour 40 hours a week minimum to be happy.

This shows money really can't make you happy, as I was more miserable than I was being on the dole. Quitting gave me a sense of freedom that allowed me to think fully on what I wanted to do with my life, which in turn is how I chose my course and am now on my way to being a Montessori Teacher.


I feel bad for those who are stuck in jobs because they feel they can't get anything else. But you won't know that until you try. It takes a lot to turn your back on a wage, but if it's not for you then why keep going? On your death bed, the first thing you'll think of is 'Why did I stay working there for so long? I wish I had quit.' It's fact (and you can look it up!) that when people were asked on their death bed what regrets did they have, the most common one was that they wished they didn't work as much as they did. Work can be a blessing and a curse, but one thing I have learned is:

Find a job that you love and you'll never work another day in your life!

You just have to be brave and research what you will do with your time once you've quit so that things won't seem as scary when you have a plan. But think about it first, as it took me months of thinking while working to realise I needed to leave.

 

So those are my 3 main life lessons that I feel helped me for 2015. I hope they helped you guys with any conflicts, worries or choices you have to/want too make for 2015.

Just remember, whatever you chose to do in 2015, I hope it makes you happy! :)

See you all next year! <3